Boston Hash House Harriers

The Pack (or people that filtered in and out of the hangover hash): Sketchy Ho, General *ss Pounder, Headmaster, Hiscocksin, Emaculate Er*ction, Stick It To The Bros, Chin Wacker (Denver), P*ss Stop, Spunk In The Trunk, Wooden Eye F*ck Her In The *ss, You Oughta Blow, Bleeps Sweeps & Creeps, Jolly Green V*gina, Doggie Treats (visitor), Virgin Heather, Drippy Spigot, Hand Job, High *nus, Dude Where's My Virginity, Catheter The Great, Hare Club For Queers, Just Brian, Puff 'n Stuff, Super Teflon Dong, DEEP Black Hole, Headmaster, Urinal Biscuit, Save a Tree Ride a Cowboy, Stops To Pet the P*ssy (Burlington), Virgin Caitlin, Europe'an Wh*re, Friar F*ck, Nice T*ts, Pretty Polly Pocket P*ssy (Burlington), C*ms Alone, An*l Beads, Just Timmy, C*m Is Kosher, IMEZRU?, Krusty The Meat Miser, Bend Over Mommy, Lips & *ssholes (Burlington), Make Banana Cry (Burlington), Sucks Hard For the $$$, Spank Me May I Have My Mother, Wee Willy (Granada & New York), Peppermint P*ssy, Goes Down On Buoys, Taj My Hole, Merkin Muncher, My Chemical Homance, Dirty Latte Sanchez, Crucifux, Patriot Missles, P*bic Service Announcement, Sugar Plum Fairy, Pig F*cker (Halve Mein), Amazon.cum (Visitor), N*pples Erectus, Lickity Slit, Snatchsquash, Just Courtney, Snowball (Denver), Stretched to the Limit (Visitor), Virgin Caitlin, Virgin Luke, Virgin Mark, Virgin Craig, Virgin Mike, You're Not My Daddy, Mom's C*mming, Wang Chunks

Introduction: The M*rathon weekend hangover hash was more of a fatboy hash than the now-famous G-String JP hash the weekend before this one. Basically, everyone showed up at Beat By A Girl's fantastic roofdeck with a killer view, ate pancakes, eggs, and bacon, and drank beer, mimosas, and bloody marys. And eventually, we had circle.

Trail: Trail led from the T at Park Street to BBAG's roofdeck. I came late (better late than never). But, I was able to score some pancakes and arrived just as some overachievers decided to run around the Common. I thought that was Bollucks and decided to drink instead. I think after running 35 miles of hashes during M*rathon week, it's okay to be lazy and just drink more.

For the most part, people dropped in and out of the roofdeck brunch, enjoying fellow hasher company and the view. I had a intriguing conversation with the Burlington Hashers (who were well represented) about something called "2 Girls, 1 Cup." I've been told not to look this up on Youtube, and haven't, but for those hashers who are bored, by all means, go ahead, and be prepared to be grossed out, from what I've heard. Don't say I didn't warn you…

Circle: GAP was RA for the afternoon. Our "hares," NAMBLA and Wang Chunks, were placed on some ice in the middle of the circle. Comments on trail included "Too Long", "Weather Sucks" and "More T*t Checks!" The hares sang "Jesus Saves" and did their down-downs.

All of our visitors (Friar F*ck, Chin Wacker, Snowball, Stretched to the Limit, and all the Burlington Folk), were called into the circle and given a prodigious down-down. Thanks to ALL our visitors, from New England folks to Boston hashers who have relocated to different areas, for c*ming out to our M*rathon weekend hash. You are welcome anytime!

Our dementress, Peppermint P*ssy, brought our six virgins into the circle. Virgin Caitlin was sponsored by Just Brian, and said she would get off on the Lesbo bus. Virgin Heather, sponsored by Drippy Spigot, said that that the square root of 69 was Eight-point-something. I think there was some coaching there. Super Teflon Dong brought his male escort friends, Virgins Luke, Mark, Craig, and Mike. Virgin Luke had no idea what you could get for under a dollar at the hash because he's used to paying more. Virgin Mark's favorite Barnyard animal is the horse - I wonder if he's seen that broadway show called "Equine". Virgin Craig's favorite sexual position is Doggie Style, which demonstrated with P*ss Stop, who was proxy sponsor because Super Teflon Dong can't handle that many men at once (but G-String probably could). Virgin Mike, when asked who the sexiest person is, answered "Super Teflon Dong." Now that's some serious coaching! The virgins were
found unworthy but welcomed into the hash anyway. At that point, a TRUE TRAIL appeared in the sky from plane contrails. No joke. The sky would later prove to hold messages from the Hash Gods (read on, fair hashers).

The hashers with the best endurance in bed…I mean, throughout M*rathon week, were brought into the circle. Myself, Headmaster, High *nus, and Spunk In The Trunk participated in every single hash, from Cumbridge to JP to Boston Moon to the M*rathon weekend hash, pub crawl, and hangover hash. They were joined by SATRAC, who although only made it to one hash (the hangover) had a good excuse of going down under or something.

Other accusations included:

1. Cranium Cover in Circle: DEEP Black Hole (GAP always gets me with that one!)
2. Secret Co-hares, for having a roofdeck to making tasty pancakes and other foodies: Lips & *ssholes, Beat By A Girl, Nice T*ts, Hiscocksin, Dude Where's My Virginity
3. Lost Tags: Make Banana Cry
4. Wanking Off: The hares, NAMBLA and Wang Chunks
5. P*ss Stop and Goes Down On Buoys were brought into the circle for a ceremonial down-down congratulating them on a fantastic M*rathon weekend (and week!) They put a lot of planning into the weekend, and from what I heard, they're going to do it again next year!! Fantastic! Incredible! Holy Hellfire Sh*t!
6. I, DEEP Black Hole, was brought into the circle for a goodbye down-down, as it was my last hash in Boston before being launched into Texas….I mean, Space. Ironically, this Hangover hash was my Hashversary - I am now 2 years hashing.

It was time for some namings next. Just Courtney was up first. I think some stories were told, but I don't remember because I was distracted by a shiny object I could see from BBAG's roofdeck. It was called the STATE HOUSE. Anyway, Just Courtney was not named Scrooge McF*ck, Dead F*cking Bird, or F*ck My Feathers, but instead was named Boa Cuntstrictor. Congratulations Boa Cunstrictor!

Just Timmy ("timmaay!" was also due for a naming. There were some good stories about how Timmaay was an accident for his parents, that he likes zoo animals, and he likes to look at animal poo. Suggestions for Just Timmy's hash name included Should Have Been A Blow Job, Jungle Booty, and Jeter Eater. However, at that point, a sign in the sky from the Hash Gods (no kidding - really plane contrails appeared) said "I heart ". The hash isn't one to mess with the Gods, so in light of Just Timmy's poo fascination, he was named I Heart Poo. Congratulations I Heart Poo!

After the namings, backsliders such as Doggie Treats, Sketchy Ho, and Lickity Slit were served a down-down. Peppermint P*ssy joined them for false accusing DEEP Black Hole for being a backslider (uh duh…no). Same shirts and shoes, or new shoes drank, and included Headmaster, Stops to Pet the P*ssy, Hand Job, *nal Beads, My Chemical Homance, Drippy Spigot, High *nus, Puff 'n Stuff (new shoes), and Pig F*cker.

Doggie Treats was accused of going to the club that night with her mom and ex-fiance, which was true, and quite a good story. Lips & *ssholes and Pig F*cker were accused of being naked the night before, and were joined by Goes Down On Buoys for false accusing Sugar Plum Fairy of being naked.

Finally, Wang Chunks declared that I, DEEP Black Hole, should again do a down-down for my last scribe hash, and be joined by all former scribes (Wang Chunks, Sugar Plum Fairy, C*ms Alone, Pig F*cker, High *nus). Some sort of barnyard song was sung, at at the verse about the whale, I was showered by my fellow hashers spitting beer on me. It even went into my ear, but I wasn't mad. Being showered with beer at the hash is a sign of appreciation. Or something. Anyway, to all future hashers - if they're singing you the barnyard song, and Pig F*cker is trying to take your hash trash notebook away, you should probably jump out of circle.

Not much can beat a beer shower, so the hash swang low and retired to playing flip cup, taking off their pants (?), drinking beer, and socializing like the hash does best.

Conclusion: It's been a great ride everyone, and I'd like to thank the Boston Hash for letting me be scribe. This isn't goodbye - I may be gone, but I'll be back to visit. I'm very excited by Jolly Green V*gina taking over as a scribe - I've very much enjoyed his hash trashes thus far, and I'm excited about reading all about the antics of the hash in future hash trashes. Thanks for taking over scribe duties JGV!

To everyone: Hash early, hash often, and look for my 4-month reunion tour, ala Cuffy-style.

OnOn! DEEP Black Hole

Spunk posted her pics from the Fatboy and Beer Check on Hashspace, login and click this link.
PSA posted these photos of the trail. Trail goes from one end of the table to the other!